After four years of battling stage 4 colorectal cancer, Sanjay left us on Tuesday early in the morning.  I have no idea how to parse it all yet. All the funeral prep and events kept us busy, kept me going, but now having laid Sanjay to rest on Saturday, it’s quiet. How do you see someone, a regular part of your daily life, since you were born and then they’ve gone? He left a lot of great memories…his illness left a lot of painful ones. The sum total of his life was just amazing, still, even though it felt short.  What I can take away at this moment about his death isn’t at a place where it makes any sort of sense. However, the amount of people who showed up for the family, and the strength of my family itself, has left me with a sense that things will be alright. I am so grateful for all the people who actually showed up. It was a great showing of people who demonstrated that they cared by being there in many different ways. I came home to flowers, I had tons of phone calls and texts checking to see if we were managing or sending an encouraging word.. people sent us dinners and came knocking. My family in the aftermath still met together day after day to be with one another, to take turns being pillars at this downpour of a season in life. It really highlighted the valuable relationships in my life. – my true friends, my real family. It is wonderful to see who I can count on – who cares about us – who really cared about Sanjay. It was SO many people! I am so so grateful to them and for them.