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Walking

So.. I scheduled today’s other post like a week and a half ago. Nothing tells you how much of a big whiner you are than your past self whining at you today! I’m doing a lot better now. I started the rapid fit program with Dez this week. I have one word for it: brutal. The diet is totally doable, and I enjoy it for the most part but the exercise requirements are a bit crazy. It’s only day 3 but I’m worn out. I’m not going to stop though, mostly because I feel like I am capable of doing anything and having the energy to do so after this kind of day. Yesterday was pretty typical. I woke up, went to work, did one pretty harsh workout at boot camp, and then went to the park for an additional hour of running/walking. Then even though I thought I’d be destroyed, I found myself with the energy to run to Barnes & Noble, JoAnn Fabrics, Publix and back home to cook myself dinner and be in bed by 10pm. I even plowed through a book until 2am or so and then went to sleep. Rousing myself by 8am was actually kind of easy. I even spoke to my mom about wedding finances over the phone yesterday without wanting to go outside, lay on the asphalt and have a tantrum.

This is the power of an amazing workout.

For some reason God only knows, I keep forgetting that adding 1-2 hours of P90x type activity + time alone in the calm solitude of nature adds nearly 4-6 hours of energy to my day. The days I’m most useless and letting my emotions dictate how I feel are the days I haven’t gotten my workout in.

I need to cling hard to my exercise time. It’s the only time during the day that I can clear my mind of everything. The extra hour in the park is like time with God. I am alone, with the birds and the trees and the wind as my only companions and I am drawn easily into a spiritual communion with God. I lay my fears, worries, anger, and solitude out in front of him. I don’t get answers or anything, but I definitely feel a sense of relief, and my sense of aloneness in these situations dissipates. It’s been pretty great. It’s solidified my day so far.

I took this picture with my phone walking up a hill at McDaniel Farm Park, where I was Monday. Seriously, thank you Gwinnett County Parks and Rec.

April 25, 2012 by Sunira

Photography

End

It’s been a long few weeks. I’ve been so busy at work that I have kept missing boot camp since my day runs well past 6pm on average now. I don’t see this trend lasting long term but it’s making me feeling the pressure and uncomfortable feeling of a rocked boat.

I think the combination of cutting back on my finances, cutting back on all the weekend fun, cutting back on travel, and losing some time to work alongside planning a wedding that I really don’t enjoy is wearing on me. I look in the mirror and I see a whole lot of tired all the time.

2012 is going to be a pretty suck year. Nothing’s wrong technically but really.. I’m just … not in a great place. I guess that’s okay sometimes. I just don’t like it. :p

I keep dreaming of 2013: the year I’ll be married to my best bud, be as far mentally from the bureaucracy of weddings as I can get, and refocusing on the things I love to do: travel, try new things, photograph, code & kick butt at boot camp!

April 25, 2012 by Sunira

Photography

The Magic

The magic of macro photography is really in your face, sudden understanding of the intricacy of life even at a tiny scale.

How different would our life, our technology, and our outlook be if we weren’t really on the largest side of the size scale of animals on this planet? It’s fun to imagine.

April 24, 2012 by Sunira

Photography

One Day

This is one of those pictures I look at months after I took it and wonder why I hated it. I guess it’s technically deficient but now it’s been elevated to the status of “memory” and not just “picture”.

I live in a beautiful part of the country, honestly. Just the perfect mix of city life and outdoor getaways. I’m five minutes from a pan-asian experience or a quiet walk in a wholly american park. Two hours of time will take me pretty much anywhere I have an itch for most days. I am certainly happy with my decision to be out here.

April 23, 2012 by Sunira

Photography

Strike

Few things strike me over and over like a sunrise or sunset. I’ve seen many clouds, tons of light rays, interesting formations but each and every time I see another one I’m just as thrilled as when I saw my first.

I’ll be chasing sunsets my entire life.

April 22, 2012 by Sunira

mobile, Photography

Jones Bridge Park

Jeremy and I went for a short walk at a local park. It’s right on the Chattahoochee and has some pretty nice views. I refocused a little on how a photo makes me feel instead of technicalities or trying to think about people. The human element isn’t required in a photo, to make it better. In my photos, it’s better that theyre not even there. I just had my phone on me but I was happy with the results.

April 21, 2012 by Sunira

Photography

Other Side

It utterly blows my mind that I went to the other side of the world, to a country so rich with images of people in the raw, and got so sick that my DSLR SD card had a total of 45 images on it. 28 of them were of a derelict old building with crows on top.

This is one of the few pictures I was in the mood to take, staring down at the scattered petals on the marble floor after Sunil’s wedding.

I don’t think I’ve ever been that ill in my life.

You know what else has killed my desire to take photos lately? Wedding planning. I’ll come out and say it, I hate wedding planning. It all just seems so excessive to me. The inability to not have something done well if I’m going to do it weighs heavily on me to. It’s been expressed repeatedly that this is a social responsibility and is more about family and other expectations than it really is about us. I accept. You don’t choose the culture you’re born into but I’m tired of it all already.

I’ve come to terms with this huge life-suck that is a wedding but it automatically tires me. Man, I almost just want to go back to work the following Monday and go on a proper trip somewhere later in the year than waste my vacation days doing something half-assed just because it’s the week after the wedding.

Bah humbug.

April 21, 2012 by Sunira